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day 32 - 33

30/09/2009 (day 32)

multitasking

hi love, nice to see u again.. how are you these days living a nearly different lives with me? i know, its hard to push yourself to do multitasking.. but thats just what you are now.. and i don't blame u for it.. because loves come and go.. and i thank you that you still given me hope and strengh to face each days goes by.. i should learn from you.. i mean, 'multitasking'.. i don't mean that i'm gonna do the same thing.. i won't.. what am i trying to say to you here is life cannot be same everyday.. each days we've passed was not same as yesterday.. each day is a new chapter.. of course there will be some recurring.. bcos life moving in a cycle.. and of course we might feel repent, joyous, poignant.. but thats how life does.. this is what i learn from you.. dying is not the answer.. but dying could be the only way to escape the loop of miserable life..

as for myself, i do live in a loop.. but mostly i move in a linear way.. i do veer off sometimes, but i always got back into my track.. actually i'm not fond of being sidetracked in what i do best for you, that is: loving you.. nevertheless all i can do now is try to patch up what i've lost in my life.. and hope (and pray) that someday you see me as a new guy you can pour your love (cinta) and love (sayang) altogether in one.. i will make you fall in love (cinta) with me again..

if only you can give me a chance to prove it..

01/10/2009 (day 33)

free to be you and me

hello my love, its me again.. forgive me if i constanty intrude your days with some 'luahan hati' of mine.. well, its not happen everyday, and for me i assume it as my self reflection, or in my context: words of wisdom.. how are you doing my love? i hope you doing just fine and doing your job to the full extent.. and don't let yoursef 'carried away' by love (cinta).. you can always have time for yourself.. or you can spend it with me.. just kidding.. you already spent it with your love (sayang) to me..

hani, if i ever told you what you should do this and that, if i ever controlled your 'movement', if i ever want you to be what you're not suppose to be, i'm so sorry kio.. i don't mean to impose anything on yourself.. i shouldn't have done such things to you.. i can't push you to do things.. i cannot ask you to love me if your heart not in it.. its better for me to let you come to me by your own will.. i know if i don't ask i might lost you.. but this is the right thing to do.. what can i do is to show you how sincerely i am to you and try to win your heart back.. not by force.. we are free to be ourself..

same to our daily living.. other people just don't have the right to say what we should be and not to be.. we abide law, but law does not change our personalities.. we are the one who shape ourselves.. of course there are limitation when we are tied to the law.. but if we integrate ourselves with it, we can be anything and anybody we want to be.. within the limitation of law it is..

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