when everything need to be justified

I'm feeling like killing myself I hate to say this but it is the easiest way out I don't know how long I can live like this I'm tired I don't want to continue anymore Where's the gods and evils when I need them I'm so tired

actually i don't have much to say about this subject: memories. there were good and bad memories (bad?) or should i said "there were happy and sad/unhappy memories" sometimes we remembered it wrong. that's why same moments are remembered differently by others. maybe we were remembered it correctly, but how can we be sure that was the 'correct' memories? or maybe it is/was called 'interpretation'? whether it was good or bad, we can learn something from the past so that we can do/prevent the things that would bring us happiness/sadness. learn from the past. learn for the future.

Working as the 'face' of the country begs you to be the image of what you represent: your country. I smile and sometimes pretend to smile whole day depending on the situation or the mood I was having at that time. And of course it also depends on who came to my desk or met along the working hours. Smile helped me reduce stress, and I found that smiling make other people feel cared or respected or better yet, smiling changes moods. I used to meet people who came to me brooding, or act like shit, maybe a bit tired from long queue or just look down on me/us (the civil servant). When they come, I just give them smiles and I noticed things were changing. I leave it for you to imagine the next thing happened after that. By the way, smiles should be accompanied by greetings and what's best is to be polite. Respect. You earned your respect when you respect others.

I'll sell my soul to the Devil if he could give me what I want. I don't regret to be condemned to be burned in Hell when I die. I just don't care. Dear Satan, I hope you read this.